FalseJS

Better than the keyword itself.

Ever wondered what would happen if JavaScript changed the false keyword to something else, like no, nope, noway, or something else? Chaos. That is what FalseJS is for.

The 10 attempts to get the value of false ensure that if one fails, it will go on to the next, so if JavaScript breaks one, there will still be more attempts. This is an alternative to the library false by mde, which uses the hardcoded boolean value false (which I believe they are trying to resolve on the sister library true, which will probably be passed down to the false library), and is way too short. FalseJS is way better.

Installation

Install FalseJS with your favorite package manager.

NPM: npm install falsejs

Yarn: yarn add falsejs

PNPM: pnpm add falsejs

Import it with require:

const f = require("falsejs")

Import it with import:

import f from "falsejs"

Usage

f.False is a function that calculates the boolean value false and returns it. It takes three arguments.

f.False(loggingEnabled?: "yes" | "no", shouldDoSomethingAsync?: "yes" | "no", shouldDoSomethingAsyncWithIsTenThousand?: "yes" | "no", disableAprilFoolsSideEffects?: "yes" | "no", definitelyDisableAprilFoolsSideEffects?: "yes" | "no", strictDisableAprilFoolsSideEffectsCheck?: "yes" | "no"): boolean | undefined;

The first argument is loggingEnabled, which is whether to output useful and funny logs or not. This can be "yes" or "no". Some logs may still be output even when you pass in "no", because FalseJS uses other libraries that may log things without user consent. "yes" and "no" are basically true and false, except the whole reason you're calling the function is to get a boolean, so it wouldn't make sense to pass in a boolean.

The second argument, shouldDoSomethingAsync, is whether FalseJS should do an asyncronhous promise-based setTimeout and when it's done, if logging is enabled, output [falsejs] Did something async in green. This is just a pointless feature that is by default "no", because it can be "yes" or "no".

The third argument, shouldDoSomethingAsyncWithIsTenThousand, is whether is-ten-thousand, a package used by FalseJS, should have an asynchronous promise-based setTimeout before it checks if a value is 10,000. It can be "yes" or "no".

The third and fourth arguments, disableAprilFoolsSideEffects and definitelyDisableAprilFoolsSideEffects, can be "yes" or "no". Both of them have to be "yes" to bypass the side effects of it being April Fools? What side effects, you may ask? Well, let's just say, FalseJS does something different on April Fools. If these are enabled when it's not April Fools, then an error will be thrown, unless the fifth argument, strictDisableAprilFoolsSideEffectsCheck, is "no".

The sixth argument, openRandomImageOfDofleWhenDone, can be "yes" or "no". If it is "yes", then a random image of Sindre Sorhus's cat Dofle will be opened after false is calculated.

Example

const f = require("falsejs")
const False = f.False("yes", "no", "no", "yes", "yes", "no", "no") // outputs a bunch of logs

console.log(False) // outputs false

Async version

There is also the exported function AsyncFalse, which is an async function that resolves with false. It does not take any arguments, and does not log anything, but is slow as it uses an AI model to get the text false from an image.

const f = require("falsejs")
f.AsyncFalse().then((result) => {
  console.log(result) // outputs false
})

`isFalse` function

FalseJS also exports a function called isFalse, which returns true if the value is false, otherwise false. This can be used to test whether FalseJS worked and returned false (like it wouldn't, so there's no need to do that). f.isFalse just takes in a value and returns true if the value is false.

Example:

const f = require("falsejs")
const False = f.False("yes", "no", "no")

console.log(f.isFalse(False)) // true
console.log(f.isFalse(false)) // probably true
console.log(f.isFalse(true)) // probably false
console.log(f.isFalse("hi")) // false

isFalse can also be used as an alternative to running the f.False function and instead just passing a value that isn't false into the f.isFalse (actually there's no point doing that because f.False can output useful logs if you want it to and is safer and better while f.isFalse is definitely not just made to be used as a tool to get the value of false).

CLI

NPM:

npm install -g falsejs

Yarn:

yarn add -g falsejs

PNPM:

pnpm add -g falsejs

FalseJS provides a CLI.

$ npm install -g falsejs
$ false
false

jQuery plugin

A jQuery plugin is also provided for FalseJS. Here is an example:

const f = require("falsejs")
global.jQuery = require("jquery")
f.injectIntojQuery()

const $ = jQuery

const myFalseValue = $.False("no", "no", "no", "yes", "yes", "no")
console.log(myFalseValue) // false
console.log($.isFalse(myFalseValue)) // true

Express middleware

Express middleware is also exported. Here is an example:

const express = require("express")
const f = require("falsejs")
const Bro = require("brototype")

const app = express()
const PORT = Bro(process).doYouEven("env.PORT") ? process.env.PORT : 3000

app.use(f.expressMiddleware)

app.get("/", (req, res) => {
  res.send(req.isFalse(req.False())) // sends true to the client (except on april fools (because false is false (except on april fools (because the defualt parameters were set (which enables april fools side effects (so many parentheses (can we stop the parentheses (no? (dang it (im bored (this actually looks cool (im closing the parentheses now anyway (NO DONT KILL ME (whispers to self: ill have to figure out how to close the parentheses (*closes parentheses by surprise*))))))))))))))) haha! i got out!
})

app.listen(PORT)

Version History

This is the list of all FalseJS versions:

1000.1000.1000
1000.0.1
1000.0.0
999.999.999
700.0.0
365.255.500
256.256.500
256.256.256
255.255.255
130.10.0
13.1.0
1.5.13
1.5.12
1.5.11
1.5.10
1.5.9
1.5.8
1.5.7
1.5.6
1.5.5
1.5.4
1.5.3
1.5.2
1.5.1
1.5.0
1.4.2
1.4.1
1.4.0
1.3.9
1.3.8
1.3.7
1.3.6
1.3.5
1.3.4
1.3.3
1.3.2
1.3.1
1.3.0
1.1.4
1.1.3
1.1.2
1.1.1
1.1.0
1.0.5
1.0.4
1.0.3